Well, we’re getting down to the wire here…T minus 2 days to baby’s due date!

I’m SO ready to see this view change:

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Baby’s room is pretty much ready to go, minus the wall décor that I’m putting off until he gets here.

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(He’ll be sharing a room with—the piano! You can kind of see it there to the right. That thing is WAY too heavy to move, even if we did have somewhere better to put it. Works for now…)

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The dresser is a hand-me-down from my grandparents that got promoted from the guest bedroom. I was thinking about painting it (since it’s really obvious how not-exactly-white it is right next to the stark white changing table), but I can’t decide whether to just paint it  white or do something funky, like grey or even turquoise. (Thoughts??)

I also can’t decide whether I care enough to do anything at all with it. So that’s a bit of an obstacle. (haha)

I’m excited that I still have tons of energy going into these last few days—nesting, I guess you could say. I spent the morning cleaning the house, with a little help…

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I’m very aware that things could start happening at any minute. Every time I go to the bathroom, I’m half expecting my water to break. Every time I eat, I’m like “is this my LAST MEAL?” (haha)

My mom is coming into town tonight, to be on the ready for emergency babysitting duties. What a relief!! All week, I’ve been so paranoid that baby would come early and I’d have to scramble to figure something out for Mason last minute. Last night, I was actually feeling some cramping at bedtime, and all I could think was, “NOT. TONIGHT!”

I’m definitely starting to get nervous about labor, now that I don’t have to stress about babysitting logistics anymore. I keep hearing that things go much faster the second time, but HOW MUCH faster are we talking, you know?

The other thing that’s finally squared away: pictures for my prenatal fitness program. I literally took the last one yesterday—featuring my thousand-week-preggo belly:

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(Prenatal barre on a park bench! I got some odd looks, as you can imagine.)

The next step is editing literally hundreds of photos (30 workouts, tons of different exercises per workout, multiple pictures per exercise…) and assembling them into easy-to-follow graphics. That shouldn’t be too hard with a new baby around, right??

So this morning, I was thinking, “what pregnancy-related stuff do I want to squeeze in on the blog before I’m not pregnant anymore?”

There’s really only one thing that comes to mind…and it’s the thing I was not, WAS NOT, going to talk about.

Gender disappointment.

This is a super loaded and touchy topic, for a number of good reasons. The biggest one, of course, is that with so many women out there who would LOVE to have a baby, ANY baby, it sounds so completely selfish and wrong for any mom-to-be to admit that she was hoping for a different gender than what she got.

But for the sake of honesty, I’ll put my story out there: yes, before I found out that baby #2 was another boy, I was fantasizing about little pink outfits. I’m a pretty girly girl myself, so I think that’s only natural. And, of course, I’d already done the boy thing, so I was curious about what it would be like to raise a daughter.

During my first trimester, I managed to convince myself that I was having a girl. I 100% DID NOT mean to, but the pregnancy felt different than my first, and lots of the old wives’ tales about gender lined up with a girl…yadda yadda.

So when I found out that we were actually having another little boy, I was completely blindsided by the overwhelming, totally unexpected feeling that my little girl had…died. I didn’t even realize how much I’d (again, unintentionally!) built her up in my head until she was suddenly gone. I literally had to mourn her, and open my heart to the little boy who was actually in my stomach the whole time. During that time, it was hard knowing that I wasn’t “allowed” to feel the way I felt, and thinking that I had to work out my feelings in private.

The only reason I’m comfortable telling you all this now is that once I had time to bond with a new vision of my next child, I felt completely different about the whole thing. I can honestly say that I’m over the moon thrilled to be having another boy, and wouldn’t change it if I had the chance.

For one thing, I’m very aware that my interest in having a girl was totally shallow and simplistic—I mean, pink dresses??

Now, I picture my boys as little buddies, and I’m so happy that Mason will get to experience what it’s like to have a brother (I never had a sister growing up and would have loved to). I picture two mama’s boys in matching polo shirts (come on—it can’t be helped) and—this might sound stupid but—I’m really excited to say “the boys.”

I wanted to share all this for two reasons:

  • To encourage anyone experiencing gender disappointment. People say that those feelings go away the second you see your baby for the first time, but in my experience, it happened way sooner than that. (And either way, it WILL pass.) I also haven’t just “gotten used to” the idea of having another boy—I’ve completely embraced it. I cannot wait!!
  • To give perspective to anyone who knows someone experiencing gender disappointment. I’d encourage you to be sensitive, even if you don’t understand or “agree” with what the person is feeling. It’s not as selfish as it sounds when you consider the fact that it can feel like losing a child. The imagination is a powerful thing.

I know many, many parents who don’t find out the gender of their babies until they’re born, and I’m completely cool with that. I’ve considered what impact that approach has on the gender disappointment thing, since you’re basically guaranteed to feel nothing but pure joy when you meet your new child, regardless of any prior thoughts about gender.

But for me, if we have another child, I’m pretty sure that I’ll opt to find out the gender during the pregnancy again. Not that I’ll be hoping for one or the other—I honestly can’t say that I will—but because I recognize that gender is part of my personal bonding process. I like to visualize things—I sincerely can’t help it—and since I have the choice, I’m all about having those visions be (to some extent) the “right” ones.

I feel incredibly vulnerable sharing all this (I’m actually terrified to hit Publish right now!) but if it helps bring even a tiny bit of clarity or comfort to anyone out there, it’s worth it.

Can’t wait to meet my little BOY!

Stay tuned…

xoxo

Kim

{ 21 comments }

Why you want protein in every meal

by Kim on August 19, 2014

Special delivery in the mail today!

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I knew I was going to want some protein powder to help me through the first few postpartum weeks, when energy is low, eating is kind of all over the place, and lots of breastfeeding is happening. But since I recently gave up dairy, I had to bail on my usual go-to (I’ve been drinking Shakeology lately, and unfortunately didn’t get the vegan kind!).

I’d heard great things about Sun Warrior from other bloggers, but so far it’s…just ok. To be fair, I’ve only had it in this cereal (aka the love of my breakfast life), which really showcases the flavor of the powder—maybe I’ll like it better in smoothies?

I also have plans to whip up a ginormous batch (or five) of these energy bites once the baby’s here. (I lived on them when Mason was born!) They rely on flax and peanut butter for their protein boost, and they’re wildly delicious.

Speaking of protein: you’ve probably heard that it’s a good idea to include it in every meal. But have you ever been totally clear on why?

I just started reading the book Trim Healthy Mama, which has a pretty good explanation of protein in it. (I mentioned THM in this post, after hearing the authors on a podcast, and finally just got my hands on the book after requesting it from the library 5 months ago!)

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I don’t love every detail about the book (you can read solid reviews that point out some of the things I didn’t agree with here and here), but it’s still jam packed with good info, and the ways the authors describe different hormones, nutrients, and fuel sources are some of the best I’ve ever read.

In one of the early chapters, they talk about how excess insulin in the body is what makes us fat. It’s no secret that our modern industrialized diets tend to come with too much sugar and carbs, and not enough protein and fat (specifically, the kind of fat that doesn’t come with a bunch of sugar and carbs).

But what exactly is it about protein that makes it so critical to our health?

Well, protein helps keep blood sugar in a healthy range, which saves the pancreas from having to release a bunch of extra insulin to bring skyrocketing blood sugar levels under control.

Ok, but how does it do that?

The Trim Healthy Mama book explains it like this…

“Protein causes the body to release glucagon, a hormone that helps counteract the more hazardous side of insulin. Glucagon helps to halt insulin’s stimulation of fat synthesis. [Storing glucose in fat cells as fat, rather than burning it up for energy.] Animals in a laboratory setting that are given injections of pure glucagon fail to gain weight, and reduce their food consumption. This is why protein is so important in every meal…

A carb heavy meal with little protein will cause insulin to surge ahead without the buffering effects of glucagon.”

Protein is like the good kid who’s forced to sit between the two naughty kids in the back seat to keep the peace—the naughty kids being carbs and insulin. Of course they’re all good, essential parts of the family, but sometimes when carbs are around, insulin gets a little too rambunctious.

Basically, if you’re going to put these guys together, you’re going to want a moderator. Thank goodness for protein!

What’s your favorite way to get protein in your diet?

Do you use protein powder? If so, what kind?

 

xoxo

Kim

{ 4 comments }

What Italy tastes like + almost there!

August 18, 2014

39 weeks + 2 days, and baby’s the size of a… We’re expecting lots of storms this week, which, according to my nurse, make pregnant women “drop like flies.” We’re ready when you are, little dude! Our friends are ready, too. We had a little get-together last night, and celebrated the two biggest upcoming events […]

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A new obsession {for once, NOT food/fitness related}

August 15, 2014

I forgot to tell you how I spent approximately 50% of last weekend—and it might just be the same way I end up spending a good chunk of this one… Pinterest, my old friend. I didn’t even realize we were growing apart. (It’s funny—I still remember, very clearly, being SO confused about what Pinterest was. […]

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My silver lining

August 14, 2014

One week and change left of this pregnancy, and I’ve finally hit the point where I can’t wait to see it end! I’m in the huge, uncomfortable, every-movement-kinda-hurts stage—which I somehow don’t even remember from my first pregnancy. Did I just get lucky that time, or did I block it all out?? It probably doesn’t […]

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Top 5 supplements for pregnancy (and beyond!)

August 13, 2014

Supplements are a tricky thing. It’s easy to read up on them and throw yourself into a panic, convincing yourself that you’re deficient in a bazillion different things. “OMG!” you’ll think, “What if THAT’S why I can’t lose weight / have poor skin / am tired all the time / have problems with constipation / […]

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Is nesting real? + why I’m cutting dairy

August 11, 2014

Lots of bloggers do “Five Things Friday” posts, but I’m coming at you with five random things on a Monday. SO rebellious, right? It doesn’t even sound good (Five Things Monday?), which is why I had to come up with a different title. Basically, we’re already off to a rocky start, but here we go […]

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What I’m working on

August 8, 2014

When I told you I was quitting my job to become a stay-at-home mom again, I mentioned I was going to have a month of “free time” before Mason’s daycare contract is officially up and baby #2 arrives. (Kind of a nice coincidence that those things are happening around the same time.) Then, I was […]

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36 week bumpdate + second pregnancy thoughts

August 6, 2014

Hi there! So I’m extreeeemely late on this update—I’m actually just a couple days shy of 38 weeks now—but I still have my 36 week picture to show you, and I’m feeling about the same as I did two weeks ago, so I figured I’d go with it. Just think of this as a 36-38 […]

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High intensity workout playlist

August 5, 2014

Hey guys! Thanks for the well wishes yesterday! I’m feeling miraculously cured today, and I still have no idea what that 3-day hiccup was all about. I headed into the doctor just to check on things, and my blood pressure was fine (high for me, since it’s been in the 90/60 or lower range this […]

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