When I was a one-kid mom, it seemed like all I ever heard were horror stories about life with two.
I was especially haunted by a quote from Kris Jenner, of all people (on a show that I definitely don’t watch all the time)… She said: “One is like one. Two is like twenty.”
At the time, I was like OH DEAR GOD, it really IS that bad, isn’t it??
Now, I’m more like…oh, Kris. That just isn’t LIKE you to over-dramatize things…
Don’t worry: I’m definitely not saying that I’m the expert on multi-kid-dom after less than two months in the trenches. (Although, really, what’s harder than the newborn + toddler combo? Other than maybe newborn twins + toddler twins…)
I just wanted to throw out a new perspective, for anyone who’s considering having a second and not hearing much positivity about the transition.
Here are some things that I’m loving about having two little kiddos…
—I’m more content with my kids’ current ages
When Mason was a baby, it was hard to resist thinking, “I just can’t wait until…” he’s sleeping through the night/walking/talking/feeding himself/supporting himself via his own job, etc. Just because I couldn’t wait to see what it was like at that stage.
Now that I’ve been through some of the big milestones with one kid, it’s easier to appreciate the second at his current age. Not only has my curiosity been quenched a little by the first, but I’ve realized that with new stages come new problems, and also, reaching that next stage means the previous stage goes away forever.
—More husband/wife teamwork
When we were a one-kid family, there was a lot of “I’ll watch him while you do that, and then you watch him while I do this.” If one parent is with the kid, it’s easy for the other to be like “well, looks like you’ve got things covered here” and clock out. Which ends up being kind of lonely for the one parent on duty.
With two kids, there’s one for each parent, which means many more opportunities for dividing and conquering on the parenting front, while still being together.
There’s an extra powerful feeling of camaraderie that comes from the all-hands-on-deck lifestyle. And it’s just nice to have the company.
—Twice the entertainment
I remember so many quiet, lonely days when I was home with Mason as a baby, basically talking to myself all day. Having someone to talk to, even if it is a 2-year-old, has changed the stay-at-home mom game big time for me, and I’ve been able to enjoy having a newborn in a totally different way.
I know that when people say “they sure keep things interesting,” they usually mean it in a bad way…but I think it can be a positive!
—I kinda know what I’m doing…
…or I just don’t care as much. Probably a little of both.
Either way, I’m a much more confident mom this time around, and my perspective about things is completely different. Things that would have flattened me two years ago barely phase me, and my perfectionistic side is finally quieting down.
—Less scheduling obsessiveness
On my first trip down the baby scheduling road, I remember reading eeeeverything on the internet and driving myself insane with it all. Did I put him down 5 minutes too late, so he’s overtired? Did I play with him too much, so he’s overstimulated and won’t sleep?
Now, we’re often on the go, or I’m just carrying the baby around in a sling, so he sleeps when he wants, for as long as he wants, and I don’t worry about it quite so much. There are still moments when I’m like, “wait, how long has he been awake? Is that why he’s fussy?” but I’m certainly not stressing and beating myself up about the whole sleep thing the way I used to. It’s just not worth it.
—Saying “my kids” or “the kids”
It’s just fun for some reason!
—Watching my kid with my other kid
It’s the same feeling you get when you see your parents with your kid—but even better.
It’s also fun to picture them as buddies in the future. The baseball games, the camping trips, the birthday parties…can’t wait!
Don’t get me wrong—there are definitely ways life has gotten harder with two kids. For one thing, the laundry SUCKS. Instead of big people clothes and little people clothes, we now have big people clothes, little people clothes, and even littler people clothes.
The socks are a nightmare.
But overall, I can honestly say that I’m even happier as a mom of two than I was as a mom of one. And it really is true that there’s plenty of love to go around. <3
How many kids were in your family growing up, and what was that like?