Bloggers: let’s stop apologizing

by Kim on February 26, 2014

I didn’t blog yesterday. No huge reason–just busy.

You probably didn’t notice or care, but I still felt guilty.

Why??

This blog is not my job. It’s a hobby. I’m technically doing it “for fun.” But it’s still hard work, and in that respect, it can feel like a job.

blogging

When I tried to explain that to my husband, his mind was blown. “So, wait. Blogging isn’t fun for you?”

Er, ummm, well, yeah it is. Sometimes. A lot of the time.

But there are also times I wish my blog would just write itself for a few days. I wish it would optimize and update itself, edit its own pictures, and stay active on social media for me. (I also wish my house would clean itself, but that’s not working so well for me either.)

It’s never that I can’t think of things to say or do–if anything, I have way, way too many ideas. It’s just that, sometimes, I wish those ideas could magically transport themselves out of my head and into the computer.

For one thing, writing is hard. Even for people who call themselves “writers.”

Then there’s the fact that so many of us bloggers are textbook Type A personalities. (What else explains the willingness to invest in something so demanding “for fun”?)

It’s hard for people like us to go with the flow on something like blogging, where there’s always infinite room for improvement. On any given day, there are a zillion different things we could be doing to “grow” our blogs–as long as we’re ok with making the sacrifices that go along with that kind of diligence. (Even just reading other blogs can leave us with that “I should really…” feeling.)

It’s easy to get sucked up into the momentum of blogging fever and think you have to DO ALL THE THINGS to be a successful blogger.

do all

But, honestly guys: if we’re doing all these things at the expense of living our real lives, what’s the point?

I think the healthy living blogging phenomenon that’s going on right now is awesome–it has motivated and inspired tons of people (including me) and it’s brought exciting opportunities to us regular little ol’ people. But I also worry that it might be getting a little out of hand.

It makes me sad that something I do for fun brings me guilt. At any given time, there are a thousand different things (slight exaggeration) I could feel guilty about regarding blogging:

–Not posting enough.

–Not reading/commenting on enough blogs. (Probably my #1 source of guilt.)

–Not being active enough on Twitter, Facebook, and Instagram. (Oh, and that Google+ thing??)

–Not sharing others’ posts enough.

–Not optimizing my site in ways I know I could.

–Not taking enough pictures. Ever.

Even though I feel this stuff from time to time, I try not to talk about it. I know that the more I put it out there, the more I’ll start to internalize it and see it as something I should be feeling guilty about.

I know I’m not the only one on the guilt train. I see bloggers apologizing all the time–for missing a day of blogging, for not responding to comments/emails fast enough, for not posting that recipe as soon as they wanted to, for taking vacations (?). I totally understand the urge, but we have to realize that we’re setting a bad precedent for ourselves. (And most of those expectations are coming from us anyway.)

Let’s make a pact: to never again apologize for letting our real lives get in the way of our blogs.

It’s not just the words–it’s the implicit guilt that needs to go.

Since a lot of us are promoting moderation in other areas of life, we should be especially sensitive to this blog/life balance thing.

It’s still ok to blog just for fun, you know. No agenda, no fancy site design, no crazy aggressive marketing tactics.

You don’t have to have the most optimized site with the most well-written, well-photographed content ever. You don’t have to be just like XYZ Blogger. You don’t have to participate in blogger conferences and link-ups and twitter chats. You don’t have to be crawling all over social media all day. You don’t have to read and comment on 40 blogs a day.

You can just blog for fun. In whatever form that takes. Whenever’s convenient for you.

Is that crazy?

{ 32 comments… read them below or add one }

Cara @ Chickadee Runs July 9, 2014 at 6:12 am

I never think bloggers need to apologize for missing a day or two (or more!) so it always strikes me as strange when they apologize. Life is crazy! If you weren’t out living there’d be nothing to blog about :-)

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Kim July 9, 2014 at 1:01 pm

Agreed!!!

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Rachel @ Healthy Chicks March 10, 2014 at 8:51 pm

Totally relatable, great post! I’ve been blogging a lot less lately (intentionally) & feel fabulous. It’s part of my pact to live more which I wrote about a few weeks ago here http://healthy-chicks.com/2014/02/19/a-pact-to-myself-on-living-more/ if I want to blog, I blog. If I don’t, I don’t force it. Living life is more important to me. Love your post, girl!!
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Kim March 11, 2014 at 8:47 am

LOVE your pact! Off to read your post!! Thanks for stopping by. :)

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char eats greens March 6, 2014 at 9:51 am

I actually needed this post more than you’ll know. I have huge guilt some of the time, which is stupid; especially since this IS a hobby. I feel 110% the same as you, and thus, why I love you ever so much!
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Kim March 6, 2014 at 1:39 pm

:) :) :) Down with guilt!! I was actually careful not to say “don’t feel guilty,” because I still feel it and I’m not sure it’s something we can totally control. I just don’t like it when bloggers apologize because I never feel like I need the apology as a reader. I don’t really pay much attention to anyone’s posting schedules, and if they’re quiet for a few days, I’m actually just even more excited to see a new post from them! (Vs. feeling like I constantly have a stack of posts to catch up on.)

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Annie Heiss March 5, 2014 at 5:32 pm

LOVE. That is all.
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Kristin @ A Mom on the Run March 5, 2014 at 1:12 pm

So, true story… I kept this in my bloglovin’ reader ’til I had time to reply. I finally have time!

I feel like I could have written this word for word. I struggle to find time to write, to the point where I just don’t enjoy it sometimes. And it’s something I do for fun, it’s not my job and I don’t make money from it. Right now, I’m so busy at work that I barely have time to spend with my kids, much less worry about keeping up with my blog, and I feel guilty over that. I hate that I feel guilty and I hate that I feel the need to apologize for not writing more regularly.

Thank you for telling me it is okay! :)
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Angelena Riggs March 4, 2014 at 10:03 pm

Omg, you took the words right from my mouth! I was totally thinking this today, and here I am at 11:00 reading through twitter and reading blogs! Thanks for these wonderful words…it’s so easy to get caught up. And my house is a mess too! I need to set a schedule and stick with it for social media and blogging!
Thanks!
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Angelena Riggs March 4, 2014 at 10:00 pm

Omg, you wrote exactly what I was thinking today! Thank you for this! I am going to make my hubby read it.
Wonderful words!
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Kate March 4, 2014 at 8:43 am

Thanks so much for this, I definitely needed to read it. I always feel guilty for missing days, but sometimes I’m just not in the mood to write. I’ve gotten swept up in stats and seeing numbers climb, but it takes all the fun and real thought sharing out of it for me. Great post!
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Kim March 4, 2014 at 8:56 am

It’s hard not to get wrapped up in that stuff! I still feel guilty about things…I just try not to be apologetic on my blog, since it just fuels the fire!

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Samantha March 3, 2014 at 10:11 am

Great post! I actually wrote a post today saying – I wasn’t going to be posting today per my usual schedule but, I refused to apologize for it. I just said – life gets in the way sometimes and, that’s how it is. lol. I think you are right about bloggers being Type A personalities – that’s what makes us such a great community. :)
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jennifer March 3, 2014 at 6:02 am

Yes, yes, yes!
I recently wrote a post somewhat along the same lines; I was getting STRESSED OUT on my blog! Something click and it was as if the fun went away and I Was just writing out of obligation!

It’s always nice to see others go through similar things.

Embrace your space!
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Kristin February 28, 2014 at 4:20 pm

I can totally relate! I don’t apologize much, but I constantly feel guilt. I feel guilty for not blogging enough or for blogging too much. Either way, I feel like I have to justify my actions on either side, and that feeling if “could be doing more” is always present. I always wonder why I do this to myself if I have that unsettled feeling all the time, but I like it and I have a passion for it. It is fun right? :). Congrats on your new Fitfluential status!!
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Jenna February 27, 2014 at 2:02 pm

If it wasn’t any fun at all, no one would do it though. So yeah it’s fun most the time, but blogging is also hard work sometimes.
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Melanie @ Happy Being Healthy February 27, 2014 at 2:02 pm

I love this post so much and can relate to everything you said! I really enjoy blogging, but it can take over my life if I let it. I’ve learned that there is always more I can do, but I sometimes just have to let it go. I’ve also learned that when I get too stressed or overwhelmed is takes all the fun out of blogging, and blogging should be fun. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. ;-)

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Ali February 27, 2014 at 10:47 am

Love this and I totally agree.
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Presley @ Run Pretty February 27, 2014 at 7:10 am

You are my blogging soul mate.

I am so creepy for that.
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Alex @ Alex Runs For Food February 26, 2014 at 10:03 pm

I TOTALLY get where you are coming from. I sometimes go many days without posting and i feel guilty! I also want to read so many blogs but it gets out of control. I find myself skipping reading some posts and then I feel guilty. I also don’t comment as much as I’d like and I feel guilty about that.
As a new blogger I read other blogs and have blog envy :) I know that in time my blog will turn into what I want it to be.

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Katie @ Daily Cup of Kate February 26, 2014 at 8:05 pm

Love-love-love this! Last week my social life was super busy and I didn’t get to blogging on Wednesday.. I was distraught! Until I accepted the fact that no one really cares if I missed a day and I wasn’t going to lose readers by not posting. Plus, let’s be real, my social life is way more important!
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Kelly February 26, 2014 at 4:44 pm

Looooove everything about this!
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Giselle@myhealthyhappyhome February 26, 2014 at 4:36 pm

AWESOME!!!! I’ve been feeling a little guilty lately for the lack of substance, commenting, reading, etc. and you are so right, why??? I’ve got a million things going on in my life right now and I definitely don’t make much money on this little blogging thing so why do I feel so obligated to post daily, read all the blogs and comment on them. Along with returning comments too! You are so right, we need to stop the guilt and live our lives!
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Alysia @ Slim Sanity February 26, 2014 at 4:12 pm

Totally get this. I chuckled at the ‘Type A personality’ comment. YUP! Have wondered that myself sometimes haha
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Kim February 26, 2014 at 3:47 pm

I love this!! One thing that I have refused to do on my site is apologize for when I post or if I took a day off from reading/commenting. This is supposed to be fun and when it becomes work then I know it will be time for me to make some major changes.
All of the other forms of social media tend to overwhelm me and I’m bad about doing much with them but I don’t worry about it because – no need for stress!!!
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Ashley @ My Food N Fitness Diaries February 26, 2014 at 3:41 pm

Yes! Well said! Thank you so much for this reminder.
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Katie @ running4cupcakes February 26, 2014 at 2:54 pm

OMG I have a very similar post in my drafts folder right now. I 100% agree that we should NEVER apologize for having a life and not blogging. Case in point – my weekend update post that I posted TODAY – wednesday! But I didn’t apologize about it. . . LIFE got busy and I didn’t blog, big deal, right? Thanks for posting – great reminders!

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Kim February 26, 2014 at 3:03 pm

Not a big deal at all!! I think since I use Bloglovin, too, I would never notice if someone “missed” a day or posted “late”–it’s just a question of whether there are new posts to read for that blog or not! :) I actually find it really refreshing when bloggers take a few days off randomly and then come back apology-free (but that could just be my own insecurity about post frequency talking! haha).

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Alex @ Alex Runs For Food February 26, 2014 at 10:06 pm

OMG I totally agree! I’m usually behind in reading on bloglovin so if people dont post one day I dont mind or notice at all! I’m thankful! I’m finally caught up on all my bloglovin reading! It’s so amazing to see no unread posts in my feed!

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Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat February 26, 2014 at 2:34 pm

Gosh Kim, I couldn’t have said this better myself. It’s SO darn true! I love blogging, I really do, but it gets downright exhausting sometimes. It’s like I feel like I have to write a post 5 days a week, I have to comment on a million blogs, I have to learn to take better food pics, etc. It can be a daunting task, but I guess I’m really the one making it that way. I want my blog to be just for fun and that’s it. I already have a job, and I don’t want another one!
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Kim February 26, 2014 at 2:46 pm

Exactly! I’m not sure I could/would ever give it up, but that doesn’t mean it’s rainbows all day. :)

P.S. I’ve noticed that you’re fantastic at commenting on other blogs! I’m pretty good with reading/keeping up, but commenting is my weakness. :) You’re one of the people that make me go “I need to be more like her!!”

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Holly @ EatGreatBEGreat February 28, 2014 at 6:19 pm

Aw, thanks Kim! I appreciate that! :-)
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