Dumb things I used to think

by Kim on May 21, 2014

Watch out…I’m feeling philosophical today.

Maybe I’m trying to redeem myself after telling you about how I fell backwards out of a chair yesterday. Maybe it’s the Sudafed I’m on right now. I don’t really know.

It all started when I saw this article on Huff Post about the most positive countries in the world. Surprise surprise–Latin American countries were at the top of the list. (Although the US didn’t do nearly as bad as I thought it would.)

If you’ve ever been to a Latin American country, you’ve felt the difference. Life is just more…chill.

I mean…why wouldn’t it be?

beach

I’m pretty sure I’d fit right in, because I already run on Island Time (the problem is that no one else here does, and I just look like a jerk who’s always late to things…)

Anyway. The article got me thinking about how my perspective has changed over the years. Growing up, I never thought of positivity or happiness as important parts of life. I thought life was all about accomplishments and success, which came from working hard.

Now, I’m more like: if we’re not happy, what’s the point of any of that?

…And then I got caught up in listing the other dumb things I used to think, like:

My self worth comes from how other people feel about me.

Not only is this a poor approach, it doesn’t even work. If your self esteem is entirely wrapped up in other people and the feedback they give you or don’t give you, you’re guaranteed to end up disappointed–and not even in them, but in yourself. That doesn’t even make sense, and it’s no way to live.

You know how you hear fluffy self love ideas sometimes and you’re like “oh that’s nice,” but you don’t really get it until you GET IT, and then you want to shout it from the rooftops? (Except that everyone else will just say “oh that’s nice.”)

That’s how I feel about the idea that self esteem must come from within.

Accomplishment = happiness.

Nope. Not the same things at all.

I try not to get caught up in the “I’ll be happier when…” trap, because it’s a lie. Accomplishments won’t get you there any more than an endless stream of compliments from people around you will.

Plus, since we’re human, the only thing accomplishment is guaranteed to bring is the desire for more accomplishment.

Busier people are more important/living more fulfilling lives.

I’m totally behind the movement to stop glorifying stress. It’s such a weird thing our culture does. Why do we think it’s so cool to be stressed out?

I’ve felt especially strongly about this in the past few years, as I’ve been learning a lot about how stress sabotages your health. Seriously, it has crazy powers, and you don’t want to mess with them.

Part of the problem is that stress talk is a chain reaction. When someone says, “ugh, I’m so stressed out,” the socially acceptable answer is, “ugh, me too.” And then you exchange your lists of stressful things, and you totally bond over it.

Well, we need to stop it. Next time someone tells you they’re stressed out, just say, “I’m sorry to hear that. What are you doing about it?”

Just kidding…that wouldn’t be very supportive, and you might get the Stink Eye. But it’s what our culture needs to hear.

Eating in moderation is always possible.

I just learned that this wasn’t true last night, and I’m totally offering up a “you were right” to my husband over it.

I’ve been on a kick of making big batches of these insanely delicious energy bites, which are called “healthy” but–yeahhh–probably not when you eat 5 at a time. I’ve always argued that it’s important to learn how to moderate yourself with food, including “treat” food, and I’m usually ok with that. But it turns out that these stupid energy bites are my kryptonite.

So my new rule is: eat in moderation, but when you identify a food that makes you go totally bonkers, just don’t make that food. Especially in triple batches.

 

So there you go…a little deep thinking for your Wednesday.

Have you thought any of these things yourself?

What’s something you used to think that you don’t anymore?

xoxo

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

char eats greens May 28, 2014 at 9:20 am

I think I think about the busier people are more important still a little too much! I would love to slow down and be more of an Island Time person just because I rush ALL the timeā€¦even when I don’t need to. I don’t think that’s healthy either!! Sitting back and smelling the roses would definitely be a good thing for a lot of the dumb things I think! haha
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Shannon May 27, 2014 at 12:53 pm

I agree with eating in moderation. It is possible, but not with certain foods. There are some foods I either can’t buy, or have to pre package them into individual servings or I will eat more then humanly acceptable :)
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Jade May 22, 2014 at 1:14 pm

I would say yes yes yes to all of these. I’m so busy nowadays that I even forget I exist at times and forget what I used to do, and I know I’m not really all that happy because my hours are all filled up – I just know that I pass out at a ridiculously early hour because I’m so exhausted. For me, there are some foods that must always be off limits (ketchup chips, spaghetti) I cannot stop eating some of those foods once I start so if they are no where near me they are much easier to forget. And with the first one too, so much of my youth was preoccupied with what I had to do for others and if I couldn’t then I would feel so bad about myself – but now that I’m so busy I have to say no – so in one sense being busy now is helping me in a sense…
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emma @ be mom strong May 22, 2014 at 5:41 am

Love these thoughts. So my take away- go live in Latin America?! Ok, don’t have to twist my arm!
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Kim May 21, 2014 at 3:08 pm

It took me years to get past thinking that other people could determine my self-worth.
I was so proud of my 15 year old this morning when I dropped him off at school because he had on his suit (with a T-shirt and tennis shoes) to pull a prank on one of his teachers after the final today (last day of school tomorrow) – he said he didn’t really care what other people thought about what he had on – everyone has their own style anyway. I wish I had felt like that at 15 but I so badly wanted to”fit in.”
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