My Trip to the Chiropractor

by Kim on August 17, 2012

I don’t know why I’ve never been to a chiropractor before. Now that I have, it seems embarrassingly overdue.

Or maybe I just drank too much of the chiro Kool-Aid. After one session, I was already pretty convinced that improperly aligned spines were at the core of every physical health problem known to humankind, from paper cuts to cancer. Plus at least half of the mental and emotional ones.

I decided to look into chiropractic care after months of waking up with headaches. At first, I figured I was dehydrated. Then, I thought maybe it was my crappy pillow.

Finally, it dawned on me: maybe my back is just screwed up. Ever since that first night in the hospital when I had Mason and was trying to breastfeed on an uncomfortable hospital bed while floating in a sea of coarse flat pillows, I haven’t felt the same. And I’ve probably been exacerbating the problem ever since by continuing to breastfeed in weird positions-and sleeping on the same crappy pillow.

So yesterday, I was sitting here:


For you locals, I went to Renewed Life Chiropractic and Wellness Center, off University Ave. I was attracted to it because of its focus on functional medicine-something I’ve been wanting to learn more about. That, and they had a pretty website with grass and butterflies.

In addition to the chiropractic care, I’m thinking about getting a functional medicine assessment done. Basically, they analyze samples of your saliva and urine, checking for 11 different “biomarkers” like pH balance, oxidation, electrolytes, carbohydrate metabolism, hydration, and liver toxicity. With the results, they come up with a “wellness prescription” for you that includes suggestions for diet and lifestyle changes and supplement use. They can also tell you if you are, in fact, the baby daddy. (Just kidding…probably.)

At my first session, they started me out with an 8-minute video introducing me to chiropractics.


It was some of the fluffiest doctors’ office content you’ve ever seen. Plus I felt like a 2nd grader. So I spent 7 of the 8 minutes looking around the room and taking pictures instead. (Which is also on par with my behavior in 2rd grade.)

Eventually, the doctor came back in to adjust me. I didn’t know what to expect and was all fidgety from the video, so I got extra tense just to make her really earn her $20 copay.

She started out with a bunch of range of motion checks and analyses of symmetry. So I learned that:

  • My legs are exactly the same length, which, apparently, is very helpful during labor-who knew? (Reason: the pelvis is less likely to be tilted.)
  • My spine curves to the left in my back and to the right in my neck. That didn’t sound very good…the word “scoliosis” came to mind, and I thought of all the scoliosis checks we had to do in elementary school (apparently FOR NAUGHT)…but she didn’t seem too horrified. (Although, what would she have done if she was?)
  • One of my shoulders had been popped out of place (???).
  • My left shoulder is higher than my right. (She asked if there was a side I preferred to breastfeed on, and when I said left, her eyes went AH-HA!!!)

Meanwhile, the adjustment itself felt…AMAZING. There were THE MOST deep, satisfying cracks ever (sorry if that’s gross-btw, have you read my birth story? haha). It was 1000x better than a massage (but then, I haven’t had the best massage experiences).

I’m due back Tuesday for another sesh-followed by sessions 2x a week for the next month (!) and 1x a week for the following month (!!). I’m like, you think copays grow on trees, lady?

To which she responds: do you want to get cancer? Shut up. (That’s what the video taught me. See, I paid attention. I wasn’t a bad student in 2nd grade-just a multi-tasker.)

The only problem with this center is that it’s located dangerously close to a Whole Foods (they share a parking lot). I had to pick up some goods for my foodie penpal anyway, so I swung by after the session. It was 6 PM, I was hungry…basically, there was no avoiding the Salad Bar to End All Salad Bars.

So, *cough* 9 dollars later *cough* THIS came home with me:


You can’t really tell, but there are about 12 layers of glory going on here. Some of the ingredients I can remember include: tofu (easily the best part), balsamic beets (close second), coconut quinoa (tied for second), mushrooms, spinach, corn, cherry tomatoes, green beans, feta, and peppers. It barely made it home alive-and then only because I wanted hubby to try some of the tofu. (He gets confused when I tell him I’ll usually go for tofu over chicken if it’s available. So I assumed he’d just never had GOOD tofu. I think I managed to get an “it’s ok” out of him.)

Oh yeah, and I also couldn’t resist this little guy:


Cranberry Israeli couscous with walnuts. Husband gave it a thumbs up and then vacuumed up 3/4 of it when I looked away for a second. (Just kidding, Brent-I was honestly happy you liked it.)

Forget the copays-I hope we can afford me going to these appointments because of the food I may end up coming home with. I was considering trying the sushi…anyone recommend it? (I’m typically deathly afraid of grocery store sushi, but I feel like WF could pull it off?)

So that was my day at the chiropractor! I think it’s a step in the right direction.

Anyone ever gotten a functional medicine assessment done?

Any Whole Foods gems I should know about?

Of possible interest:

Fitness Tops with Hidden Pockets! (I want every. Single. One of these.)

26 Healthy Habits that Really Aren’t Healthy (Who was under the impression that light beer and hot tubs were healthy??)

Unrelated stuff about my kid:

This is how Mason likes to sleep these days…


How is this comfortable? Is this even safe?? I tried to gently pry the hands off his face once or twice, but they went right back seconds later.



Have a great weekend! We’re heading up north to a friend’s cabin while Grandma watches the little dude. Cannot wait!


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