The Effects of Motherhood

by Kim on November 27, 2012

Back in March, we met this little dude:

masebaby

Today, he’s 8 months old.

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*By today, I mean last Wednesday, pre-blog-crash, when this post was supposed to go up…

I’m not going to go on a rant about how fast the time has flown or how shocked I am by his age…partially because I don’t really feel that way. I feel like we’ve had this guy forever, in that I can barely remember what it was like to not have him. And his birth doesn’t feel like just yesterday, or even like 8 months ago…it feels like forever ago! I can barely remember what it was like to be pregnant! (Ha, ok: the real problem is just that I have an unimaginably bad memory.)

maseanddad Brent and I like to play the “Who Is This Kid??” game, in which we look at M’s newborn pictures together and make shocked comments.

Honestly, though, I’ve been making a conscious effort all year to savor these days-to live in the moment and fully grasp the experiences I’m having now.

But sometimes I feel like no matter how hard I’m living, it won’t be enough to please my future self. She’s always all, “You had NO idea how awesome that was! Why didn’t you appreciate it more??” So, anticipating this, I’ve been doing my best to appreciate the crap out of each day of Mason’s life and to not look ahead.

I’m also not going to bore you with a bunch of stats about what he’s doing right now-I know those little first-year details are much less interesting to anyone who isn’t immediately related to the baby or doesn’t have a similarly aged baby. Suffice it to say that he’s growing normally and doing relatively normal things for his age.

I mean, I assume most kids can play Clair De Lune by 8 months.

mase piano Sorry for the blurry picture-he gets really aggressive during the chorus.
He still struggles with a few of the key changes, but it’s nothing his 3 hour/day practice regimen can’t iron out.

So now that I’ve wasted your time talking about all the things I’m not going to talk about, here’s what I AM going to talk about: me! Haha.

I just felt like sharing some of the ways motherhood has impacted me and my life:

–Perspective. Having kids forces you to get out of your own head. I’m no longer the most important person in my life-he is.

IMG_1988

–Awe. I can’t think of any more powerful testament of God, besides nature, than children. I still have those “I can’t believe that came out of me” moments. The whole process of pregnancy, childbirth, and breastfeeding (etc.) has all been so profoundly awe-inspiring to me-the way my body was able to produce a whole new organ (placenta) and a whole human, without me doing much of anything. I know we overuse the word “miracle” to the point where people downplay its meaning, but when you sit down and think about it, it really is miraculous.

–Love. I couldn’t wait to have a kid so I could experience that extra-profound kind of unconditional love that parents feel for their children. I’m sure I’ve only scraped the surface of it, but it really is different than any other kind of love. I think it’s because it comes with the fiercest, most primal sense of protectiveness you can imagine. Just thinking for 5 seconds about how far I’d go to protect this kid is enough to bring tears to my eyes. (And I’m already worrying about him driving as a teenager. Ughhhh…)

me and mase 1 

–Partnership. My marriage is different since having a baby. It’s more profound. For one thing, we’ve SEEN THINGS together. I’ve made myself vulnerable to him in new ways (not just in childbirth!), and vulnerability always leads to deeper, more meaningful relationships. Plus, there is something incomparable about sharing a human life with someone-something that goes even deeper than sharing a home or a pet. There’s a whole new kind of love that comes from watching your spouse with the baby you’ve made together.

–Presence. Like I said, I’m learning how to live in the now like never before. Kids change so fast that every day is like an important event in their lives, and we have to be there with them in that. I’m excited for Mase to be walking and talking, and for me to be able to do cool activities with him rather than just watching him pound toys on the floor all day, but I try not to look ahead too much. I know that as soon as I get there, I’ll miss here.

064 Who is this kid?!?!?

–Responsibility. It’s not just the fact that his every little physical need is my responsibility. It’s the fact that I’m his mom-the only one he’ll ever have. It’s my responsibility to be the example that molds his character. Anyone who understands what that means knows how scary it is.

If this is how I feel after 8 months, what’s this going to feel like after 18 years??

Fellow new moms, what has motherhood meant to you?

Or dads and fatherhood!

Seasoned moms, what was your favorite age of your kids?

I keep hearing the phrase “that’s a great age!” Does that mean it’s all downhill from here?? Ha. I think I’m going to really like the elementary school years, but who knows…

Something to watch:

(This is awesome!)

 

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