On the off chance that anyone’s wondered where I’ve been the past—geez, five days??—here’s your answer:
Remember how I mentioned the overly-graphic episode of the puke-in-crib from last week? Well, the nasty bug that caused that little situation decided to spread the joy to the rest of our family.
I definitely handled it worse than anyone. I’ve been 100% out of commission for the past three days—no exaggeration. That’s THREE whole days of not eating and being completely immobile on the couch. I’ve never experienced anything like it. I lost track of how many times I puked on the first day (double digits easily). Walking up a few stairs to get some water felt like the most monumental task in the world.
Three days into the ordeal, any kind of food still sounded totally revolting. We ordered Thai last night, since I thought a light broth-based soup might please Her Majesty My Stomach…I think I made it through maybe 5 sips?
Thank God for the Best Husband Ever, who’s basically been a single parent since Friday morning.
Not only did the Disease from Hell ravage our poor family, but it ruined Mason’s 2nd birthday party. We ended up having to cancel, since there was no way we were up for traveling. Poor kid didn’t even know what he was missing out on—which I guess is a good thing?
He didn’t even get cake, since his mom couldn’t think about the word “cake” without gagging. He spent all of last week practicing blowing out candles too… #worstparentever
We showered him with new trains and a new Thomas the Tank Engine movie (!!!!) and begged forgiveness.
Today, I’m home with the kiddo, since his daycare had to randomly close due to a water leakage issue. (Good timing, really.) Knowing he was probably going insane being trapped in the house for four days, I took him to the library.
(Grocery store is to food as library is to…trains? That’s right. Forget about books.)
It’s spring break for local schools this week, so the place was a madhouse. Watching all the other moms chase their kids around and gently remind them to share the trains, please (46 times) gave me MAJOR flashbacks to my SAHM days. That ish is hard.
Back at the ranch, I finally broke my crash diet streak with the first food that’s sounded appealing in awhile: a peanut butter, banana, and honey sandwich.
Why is it that, when you’re not feeling the best, you always want to eat like a five-year-old? I’m looking at you, morning sickness.
Speaking of which: the baby seems to have made it through The War unharmed, as far as I can tell (which isn’t very far, of course). I’m sure it was happily lapping up the few remaining nutrients I had floating around in my system that last few days—which is fine, and might actually explain a few things…
Don’t worry: my workouts have been awesome. Chest and bi’s Friday, a long run Saturday, yoga yesterday… LOL!!! I haven’t worked out since Thursday. Unless you count climbing the stairs a handful of times at a 98-year-old’s pace. Which I do.
Possibly the best part of this whole horrific weekend was that I made it through all 400+ pages of Gone Girl. I know I’m the last person alive to read it, but—WOW. What a wild ride. A little raunchy for my taste, at times, but brilliant writing and an even more brilliant plot.
Now I want to go write a novel.
Please tell me your weekend was better!!